When there’s too much ‘other stuff’ to do I’ll inevitably start feeling deflated (and creep into a ‘slave-mentality’ mindset where there’s no spaciousness for beauty, kindness or abundance – or so it seems).
So, painting doesn’t make me happy (for as Adi Da has pointed out, “You cannot become happy, you can only be happy”), but it can provide a context in which I get to feel ‘me’ a bit more (sometimes).
I’ll try to clarify.
When I paint, the rules of engagement are my own (rather than those imposed by others). I get to romp and play and get stuck in my own sandpit. I get to experiment and discover and sometimes participate in a happening that feels greater than anything I could muster through effort.
And by engaging in this process more aspects of ‘me’ (which I consider valuable) may be accessed, whereas when there’s too much of the other stuff to deal with (requiring great effort), ‘I’ drop off the radar (somewhat).
Therapy clearly arrives in many forms. For understanding pre-verbal early-life trauma, co-dependency, shame, etc., painting-therapy ain’t gonna cut mustard. As a supplement, it can be good.